Lolly JONES

LONDONER of the WEEK! Lara Honnor

Lolly JonesComment
I don’t have the Angelina Jolie (cancer) gene, which is a shame ‘cause I wanted some nice, new tits.
— Lara Honnor

My very first Londoner of the week is Lara Honnor!  

I chatted to the actress, blogger, breast cancer warrior and ‘vegan bitch’ to uncover her take on the capital…

 

What Zone do you live in?

Don’t know.  Peckham.  What is that? 

 

North, South, East or West?

My head’s South.  My heart’s East.

 

Who are you?

I am all woman.

Fuck Cancer

 Memorable London kiss?

In the Troxy building for a Secret Garden party.  It was a Deep Sea theme.  I was dressed as a Pirate and he was a shark.   

 

How many wigs do you own?

Five.

Lara Honnor

Are you treated differently depending on what colour wig you wear?

Definitely.  Blondes do have more fun.  You blend in a bit more when you’re brunette.  The ginger one is fun.

 

How has Cancer changed you?

It turned me into a hypochondriac, vegan bitch.  You’re more ballsy.  You do crazy things like buy a bloke who’s not that into you, a puppy.  You feel like you’re on the next level, like you’re one step closer to meeting Freddie Mercury.  You think about what happens when you die and if you’ll finally find out what happened to Princess Diana.

Londoner of the Week

What has surprised you whilst fighting it?

The amount of amazing friends I have.  Their love and support is very humbling.  Also, the kindness of strangers.   And the NHS have been brilliant.  They have saved my life.  I can’t fault them.

 

What do you think of Boris Johnson?

Are his pubes the same colour as his hair?

 

Best job you have ever had in the city?

I was once in a flashmob to promote the Olympics.  I wore a purple morph suit and I had to have a tug-of-war with the Sugababes.

 

Worst job?

I waitressed at Justin Timberlake’s Independence Day party.  Pharrell Williams was on the dance floor and I was wearing rubber gloves, serving hot dogs to the fucking A-list elite.  Simon Le Bon asked me if he had corn on the cob in his teeth.

 

Preferred method of transport?

Not those bloody rickshaws.  Whenever my mum comes to town, she insists we get in one.

When has London ever let you down?

Every day!

When I got mugged in Putney.  The thieves were known to Police as the Bear Huggers.  They were never caught.  10,000 mobiles were stolen in London that December.  That’s when London lets you down.

 

Favourite city gem?

I really love the Hindu temple in Neasden.  It’s the biggest one in Europe and it’s beautiful.

 

What do you most miss about London when you go away?

My friends.  The red buses. The vibe.  When you come back you feel like you’re in a movie.

 

What do you do when you have a day off?

I walk my dog Edward around Peckham Rye.

 

How has London changed since you’ve been here?

When I first moved to Bethnal Green it was a shit hole.  It is still a shit hole but it now has wanky bars and it's been gentrified.  Yes, I’m a white middle class girl but I don’t want do live with white, middle class girls!  Remember when Brick lane was made of bricks?  It’s bloody ‘Tarmac Lane’ now.  And that shop, Joy?  That should be kept in Clapham Junction.  I remember the days when London was cheap and cheerful and now everyone’s getting pushed out.

Best London argument?

In Da Vinci’s in Waterloo (a drink-after-hours pizzeria).  Someone head butted my friend so I gave her my version of the ice bucket challenge.  It did not end well.

 

What do you predict for London’s future?

Aesthetically, it will look nice but its soul will be lost.  Creative people are getting pushed out.  Or maybe my stage here is over.  Most people come here for 10 years and then they leave.  It’s a little bit sad.

 

Will you stay?

London’s given me cancer!  So no!

 

Where will you go?

To the sea?  I don’t know.  Maybe somewhere in Europe.

 

You can read more about Lara's journey in her incredibly funny and frank blog: Get Your Tits Out!